Today I'm Sad. Hurt. Frustrated. Annoyed.
I wake up everyday ready to give my all to a family who I knew nothing about less than three months ago. I've come to love these individuals which makes it much more difficult when days like today come along.
The children's grandparents arrived yesterday from Oregon after not seeing the kids for probably a year and a half, clearly an exciting event. Yesterday was filled with activities (horseback riding, out to lunch, soccer...) so today, returning to the norm, was a bit difficult. I was stressed trying to keep to the schedule and activities laid out for me with the kids wanting to spend time with their grandparents and the grandparents wanting the same. The grandparents were extremely kind and encouraging, I loved having them there. This afternoon, we (the grandparents and I) took the kids on a little hike and the kids were having so much fun when it was time for me to go, the g'parents decided to stay up with them a bit longer. I was feeling great about life and my job, I actually felt appreciated, as if I was perhaps making a difference. Then I got back to the house to find that all my hard work just isn't quite enough.
I was so encouraged to find this poem written by my dear friend Emily Reicherts.
I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To know that You are Good and
Kind and Just and Faithful.
I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To be held in Your arms
Quieted with Your love
Transformed by Your Word
And taken by Your Presence.
I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To walk with You
Remain in You
Believe in You
And be strengthened by You.
I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To trust in Your
Promises, Purposes,Plans,
and Precepts.
I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To step in Faith
Holding Your hand
Knowing the hurt today
Will lead to a Glory
That surpasses all
Understanding tomorrow.
Emily Reicherts 6-09
I will press on.
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